An ode to frustration...
We all know that Acroyoga brings up all kinds of emotions and some emotions are more challenging to deal with than others.
For us, navigating frustration is a topic that we’re experiencing and we’re on a mission to prevent and resolve it as best as possible.
That’s not always easy, so cheers to sharing that it’s not all unicorns and rainbows!
We want to keep it real and maybe with us sharing our struggle and learnings, it will allow you to have some takeaways that benefit your practice and relationships :)
Because at the end I’ll share a very valuable insight that this topic has brought us...
So, what frustrates us?
When we repeatedly try a skill and whatever we do to make it work or feel better doesn’t help.
Aaaahhhrrrrr!
Our nemesis acroyoga skill for the past years: Whips.
Caspian and I aim to be all round teachers and practitioners and therefore we practice almost all different areas/disciplines of acro.
From the start we felt super compatible together and a lot of things feel really easy together.
But not whips.
For some reason learning whips together has been a challenge.
You know that saying in acro ‘if it feels right it is right’?
Well whips have rarely been feeling right.
At the start of our whip journey Cas’s feet were really hurting me and we have often had clashing so much and hard that it’s often quite impactful and painful for me.
Last year during our Europe trip one of our goals was to improve our whip technique and so we joined workshops from several teachers.
This resulted in a lot of frustration, tears and lengthy conversations.
But on the plus side: also a lot of learning and we slowly started to get better! YAY.
We were adamant: last year we regularly focussed on training our whips and were excited to join more workshops in Europe now, because there are some insanely skilled teachers!
It’s been a rollercoaster with ups and downs and at the last festival, we got super frustrated again.
What does that looks like?
Less positive communication
Less communication full stop
Annoyed body language and comments
Less fun and enjoyment
Less connection
Feeling powerless
I also got upset and emotional and I even went to the toilet to release some tears…I was just so bummed about it!
We both want our whips to feel better and improve in these skills together so bad!
Through all our conversations we’ve learned when frustration will be triggered in the other person and we know each other very well, which often makes it possible to tell when this is the case.
This increased understanding and alertness allows us to note it early on and allows us to address and calm it sooner.
So takeaway no. 1: Learn what triggers frustration in you and the other person.
Nowadays when we notice frustration in either ourselves or the other we aim to speak up:
‘hey I feel I’m getting frustrated’
or
‘I think I’m noticing frustration in you; is that true and is there something you need?’.
In our experience this helps so much to release some tension and opens the conversation to what would be helpful steps.
This is our second takeaway: communicate and make choices that will reduce the frustration.
For me often that is a cuddle and some positive words that highlight our common goal: in our partnership, we want to be the best acro teachers and practitioners we can be!
And that brings me to the most valuable flipside and takeaway number 3 of this frustration:
We actually came to realise that our frustrating road to whips is making us better teachers!
Why?
To experience struggle is actually very humbling and gives us more empathy for people who are struggling with something themselves.
To be bad at something and to feel like a beginner gives better understanding for other beginners in acro which is super valuable as a teacher to be able to relate to.
And lastly; because we sucked at whips we needed to dive deep into all the details and aspects of the technique and movements involved, which gave us more knowledge and understanding than when we would have been naturally good at it without understanding what it needs.
We deconstructed moves, analysed slow-motion videos, compared our movement to other bases and flyers, had loads of conversations with top whips teachers and looked at so many small details.
Knowing and understanding a skill in depth makes us actually better teachers, because we can identify what people are doing right or wrong, and are able to give clear cues.
Thinking of these benefits often puts things in perspective and keeps our eye on the goal and our motivation high!
We will master whips!
And actually we are getting closer, towards the end of this Europe trip we feel we've made some significant breakthroughs and increases in our understanding of whips and whip-pops.
So maybe the worst of the frustration is over.
In any case, there is always more to learn and more skills to challenge and humble us, so we better enjoy the journey!
So maybe next time you get frustrated you can think of these 3 takeaways and see if it helps you too!
Ciao, Laura
